BEHAVIOR #5 SHOW LOYALTY (pp. 165 - 171)

"It's been my experience that the people who gain trust, loyalty, excitement, and energy fast are the ones who pass on the credit to the people who have really done the work.  A leader doesn't need any credit...He's getting more credit than he deserves anyway." - says Robert Townsend, former CEO of Avis.

Agree? (I'm not sure that I 100% do, but I get the gist of what he is saying).

This behavior...showing loyalty... shows up in several ways:
* Give credit freely
* Acknowledge the contributions of others.
* Speak about people as if they were present.
* Represent others who aren't there to speak for themselves.
* Don't bad-mouth others behind their backs.
* Don't disclose others' private information.

I see this behavior as a discipline of the tongue and the heart.

"I really don't feel comfortable talking about this person like this when he/she is not here. If we have a concern, let's go talk with him/her." Really, this habit is about considering how you would want to be talked about in your absence. We've all been on both sides. This is a great reminder.

I especially love Covey's heart toward honoring family. "Make it a rule to never talk about family members in negative ways.  Be thoughtful about how you talk with your partner about family members, including children.  Catch your children doing things right - and share your excitement about their good deeds." This could be said of spouses, siblings, extended family, crazy Uncle Charlie...

Do you ever think about the standard of accountability and scrutiny the Covey family must live under as the voice of moral behavior in the last couple of generations? Just a thought.

BEHAVIOR #4 RIGHT WRONGS (pp. 158 - 164)

I have to admit, the ridiculous story of Stephen dumping the water over his nephew's head at the basketball game had me amused. But this behavior itself had me sweating it a little. Eating humble pie is no fun. I think most of us would rather brush a mistake we made under the rug rather than have to apologize or much less, make amends for it! "Right Wrongs is more than simply apologizing; it's also making restitution. It's making up and making whole.  It's taking action.  It's doing what you can to correct the mistake...and then a little more." I love the point he makes about apologizing quickly!

The opposite is to deny or justify your wrongs, to rationalize wrongful  behavior or failing to admit wrongly behavior.

The counterfeit is to cover up.  it is trying to hide the mistake, as opposed to repairing it.

I really wish I could come up with an example of when I have righted a wrong and share it with you. Shamefully, nothing comes to mind! I think I'd better take a serious look at adopting this behavior. I can very much see how admitting wrongs would build trust and even more so, making restitution.

He says that righting wrongs can impact the bottomline. "People stay mad when they're owed an apology and don't get one." And gives the example of doctors being sued more when they don't admit they've made a mistake.

Covey said that many of the stories he hears about situations were wrongs were 'righted' come from employees that have observed their leaders doing the right things.  "In other words, the trust-inspiring behavior of the leaders in these organizations has become an organizational symbol.  This is yet another example of the geometric growth that impacts the speed of trust: when you build trust with one, you build trust with many."

As an aside, at times, it seems like many of these behaviors can have me thinking in a negative direction (how did I fail or how did someone fail me). Man, let's not get caught up in that, yeah? Let's read from the perspective that these are reminders of 'how to be awesome' knowing that we do better on some days than others. I appreciate anyone who is undertaking the brave work of facing these behaviors head-on with honesty and resolve!

BEHAVIOR #3 - CREATE TRANSPARENCY (PP. 152 - 157)

"The only way to build trust professionally and personally is by being trustworthy.  I hope I'm living up to that standard."  Gerard Arpey, American Airlines CEO, worked hard to be transparent after taking the helm from Donald Carty who had hidden executive perks into a proposed financial package that would simultaneously cut worker wages. One secretive selfish leader followed by one sincere transparent leader. Which do you think built trust?

Behavior #3 is about being open, being real, being genuine, telling the truth in a way people can verify.

Consider the words: transparent (light passes through) and opaque (something is concealed, blurry, vague).

Covey makes the point that the counterfeit of transparency is to pretend like you're being honest, open and authentic when you're actually obscuring some fact, reality or feeling. Can you think of any companies in recent business news that have obscured some internal reality only to their demise?

"Particularly when trust is low, people don't trust what they can't see.  By opening things up, you assure people that there's nothing to hide."

Summary of Behavior #3: Create Transparency
* Tell the truth in a way people can verify
* Get real and genuine
* Be open and authentic
* Err on the side of disclosure
* Operate on the premise of "what you see is what you get"
* Don't have hidden agendas
* Don't hide information

BEHAVIOR #2 - DEMONSTRATE RESPECT (pp. 144 - 151)

I really appreciated the story in this chapter (p. 146) about the business school professor who asked the students on an exam who the janitor was.  His justification was this: "Most of you dream about being the president and CEO of a successful company.  But success is a team effort.  A good leader takes nothing for granted and recognizes the contributinos made by everyone on the team - even those people who appear to do themost insignifcant jobs." In that spirit, I wanted to share the core value of teams & respect with you from Ebco's Philosophy Statement (with credits to MOOG Corporation)

We Are Members of One Team and Will Treat Each Other With Respect

We are all in this together. Even though we rely on an individual’s competence, success in our company is a team effort.  We cannot operate as a collection of individual contributors.  Everyone is expected to collaborate when it’s required.  People are expected to develop the relationships that are so crucial to having team success.  We expect that everyone is motivated to achieve success for the Company as a whole as you experience your own individual success.

Success in our company is a team effort

For the team to operate effectively, each individual has to take responsibility for achieving his or her part of the desired outcome.  Sometimes these responsibilities may even seem to fall beyond the normal boundaries of one’s job.  In our Company, if something needs to be done, people “step-up” and get it done whether or not it’s formally part of their job.  At EBCO, people don’t say, “it’s not my job.”  Rather they say, “It’s all my job.”

At all levels, people in our Company are given lots of responsibility and lots of independence.  The Company provides a framework, with goals, from which to operate but we trust people and we presume that folks are going to meet their responsibilities with little or no direction or supervision.  We believe that if people need help, they’ll ask for it.  We’re proud of the fact that, in many instances, we provide people the opportunity to try, to fail, to learn, and to grow.

We look for solutions, not scapegoats.  In all companies, things sometimes go wrong.  Shipments are late, designs are wrong, bills don’t get paid.  In many companies, when these events occur, the tendency is to find out “who’s at fault” and then blame that person or people.  In our company, it’s much more important to figure out how we’re going to solve the problem, than it is to assign blame.  When a problem occurs, we treat it as a learning experience, and work together to craft a mutually agreeable solution.  We behave this way whether we’re dealing with other EBCO employees, customers, or suppliers.

Communication – Complete, honest and open – is crucial. Communication involves not only telling and talking, but also listening.

Covey gives many examples of respect throughout this behavior. Respect shows up in a lot of different ways. Saying 'please', 'thank you' and 'excuse me', a warm smile, shaking hands, eye contact, returning phone calls and emails, not interrupting are common courtesies.  Surprisingly these common courtesies are not as common as they used to be. Did you know there is an entire cottage industry springing up helping the corporate world regain their sense of etiquette in dealing with one another. Check out this interesting treatment of the subject by Giovanella Gonthier.  https://www.amazon.com/Rude-Awakenings-Overcoming-Civility-Workplace/dp/079315197X

"What creates trust, in the end, is the leader's manifest respect for the followers." James O'Toole

"While 'Demonstrate Respect' may come across as a 'soft' behavior to some, I contend that it absolutely has a direct relationship to trust and therefore to the bottomline." (p. 149)

Summary: Behavior #2 - DEMONSTRATE RESPECT

* Genuinely care for others

* Show you care

* Respect the dignity of every person and every role

* Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can't do anything for you.

* Show kindness in the little things.

* Don't fake caring (or at least behave your way to sincerity)

* Don't attempt to be 'efficient' with people

I will post a second post for this week on the 3rd BEHAVIOR

Behavior #1 - STRAIGHT TALK (pp. 136 - 143)

Let's summarize STRAIGHT TALK, the first trust-building behavior:

Be honest.
Tell the truth.
Let people know where you stand.
Use simple language.
Call things what they are.
Demonstrate integrity.
Don't manipulate people or distort facts.
Don't spin the truth.
Don't leave a false impression.
Yada. Yada. Yada. No, seriously. Really. Thoughtfully read through these things we have heard for years that they have become mundane... but read them afresh. For me, one personal challenge that jumps out... "use simple language".

Covey describes "straight talk" as honesty in action. It is making sure that we do not leave the wrong impression and also not equivocating (vascillating in our opinions based on the preferences our audience or of those in power). It is easy to see how 'straight talk' is based in the core of character, namely integrity.

I'd also like to point out at this point that integrity and trustworthiness are both emotional intelligence skills (our learning framework from ELI):

Straight talk is especially applicable in the Professional Development Meeting, the context where we are striving to be effective feedback givers and receivers. As we've discussed. we must be able to give & receive both HONEST feedback and SUPPORTIVE feedback. One without the other is not truly 'straight talk'. Covey cites the example of Warren Buffet who writes an annual report with NO spin updates about the status of business, even going to far as to disclose his errors in judgment. 

The opposite of 'straight talk' is to lie or deceive. Ouch...when you put it that way, maybe we should take a closer look! I like that point that Covey uncovers that we will pay a tax for deceiving either now or in the future.  Sometimes the human mind thinks only in short-term, not long-term consequences.

Here are a list of counterfeit behaviors that defy 'straight talk':

* beating around the bush

* withholding information

* double-talk (say one thing, do another)

* misleading 

* flattery

* positioning & posturing

* leaving a false impression (despite speaking the technical truth)

* "spinning" (what Covey calls the grandaddy of them all) which also levies a 'spin tax' which incurs a 'withholding tax' (people begin to withhold information).  Some might call the play between spinning and withholding office politics. I'm sure none of us have experienced this first-hand. Good thing we have this book so we can learn about it. ;) "When people have the courage to stop the cycle of spin, amazing things happen.  Communication is clear.  Meetings are few, brief, and to the point.  Trust increases. Speed goes up. Cost goes down.

I love Covey's balanced approach in thinking through these behaviors. He recognizes that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. For instance, you can't excuse cruel and brutal communication as "straight talk".  We have to use skill, tact and kindness in all communication. Page 142 gives some great pointers on how to evaluate and improve your own 'straight talk' behavior. I think he has a great suggestion, to have an accountability buddy as we set goals to improve our trust-building behaviors. Is there someone you can ask, "How am I doing?" This is a feedback-seeking behavior.

So, how did you personally process or apply this chapter?

The 2nd WAVE - RELATIONSHIP TRUST (Behaviors) (pp. 125 - 143)

I believe it was Einstein that once said, "You can't think yourself out of a problem with the same thinking you used to think yourself into it." This Second Wave follows a similar idea: How to behave yourself out of problems you behaved yourself into!

Specifically, this Second Wave helps us learn to behave in ways with others that increase trust and avoid acting in ways that destroy trust through 13 specific trust-building behaviors.

Covey says that these behaviors are successful for four reasons:
1) They're not based on fads or practices, but time-tested principles.
2) They grow out of the four cores (credibility in character & competence)
3) They are actionable and can be implemented immediately.
4) They are universal (with anyone in your life in any sphere of influence in any culture)

Covey's audacious claim is that these behaviors have the power to create trust in all relationships you have both, personal & professional! He also says that we can behave ourselves out of a problem we have behaved ourselves into, and often faster than we think.

"People don't listen to you speak, they watch your feet," Covey says. Do you agree?

What you DO has far greater impact than anything you SAY. Why is that?

Consider emotional bank accounts. "By behaving in ways that destroy trust, you make withdrawals. By behaving in ways that build trust, you make deposits. The 'balance' reflects the amount of trust in the relationship at any given time.

* Each trust account is unique.
* All deposits and withdrawals are not created equal.
* What constitutes a deposit to one person may not to another.
* Withdrawals are typically larger than deposits.
* Sometimes the fastest way to build trust is to stop making withdrawals
* Each relationship has two trust accounts : your perception and other person's

Things to note about the behaviors section:

• All 13 behaviors require a combination of both character & competence. (The first 5 flow from character, the second 5 from competence and the last 3 from a combination.)
• Any of these behaviors can be taken to the extreme. (Plus Covey also denotes the opposite behavior for each).
• These behaviors work together to create balance (such as between "straight talk" and "demonstrate respect"
• There are tips on how to strengthen your 4 cores and suggestions on how to apply the behavior

Covey concludes this introduction to trust-building behaviors by reminding us that every encounter with another person is a "moment of trust." You can either build or tear down trust.

RESULTS continued (pp. 109 - 124)

Covey reveals to us his personal definition of leadership: "Getting results in a way that inspires trust." That is how 'core' trust is to his philosophy of leadership. How many of you referenced trust in your own philosophy of leadership statements? Maybe it is time for a revision...?

This chapter asks us some sensitive questions about our performance:

* What kind of results am I current producing?

* Do those results increase or diminish my personal credibility?

* If I were considering hiring someone, to what extent would that person's track record and current performance influence my decision?

* How good is my own track record?

* How likely would someone be to hire me based on my track record?

* How good am I at identifying desired results and executing effectively to accomplish those results?

* Does my performance inspire confidence and trust?

Think about those thoughtfully. Answer them in a journal if that will help you reflect on them seriously.

We are all evaluated by three key indicators: past, current and anticipated performance.

Consider these companies listed on the Reputation Quotient Survey for 2016:

http://www.theharrispoll.com/reputation-quotient/

Covey encourages us to ask TWO questions about results: What (results am I getting)? and How (am I getting them)? Are you alienating people as you get results? This short-circuits long-term gains because relationships have been damaged. Similarly, if people are included and respected in the process of getting results, you actually exponentially improve future results (faster, easier, happier).

Covey makes a point on page 116 that could be controversial.  He challenges the traditional definition of success to include the paradigm that even falling short produces the result of learning. Do you buy it? Yes, no, sometimes?  Certainly this idea dovetails nicely with our aspiration to become a feedback-seeking culture. "There is...wisdom in creating a culture that makes it safe for [that] to happen. A transparent culture of learning and growing will generally create credibility and trust, even when the immediate results are not the best."

Wildcard question: Does your performance (results) impact your sense of personal value/worth?

How To Improve Your Results:

1. Take responsibility for your results -results, not activity, is what is required. Measure your results. You be the judge.  This is an incredible coaching tool for those who are young professionals. "I stayed on my diet" compared to "I lost 13 pounds".  This is a destination, not the journey, paradigm.

2. Expect to win (self-fulfilling prophecy) -  I love that Covey refreshes the story of Pygmalion for us. Remember how he set his hopes on his statue of Galatea becoming a real woman...and she did? People will live up to or down to whatever you expect of them. And you will too. We tend to get what we expect from ourselves...and others. This is a growth mindset!

3. Finish strong - Results are all about finishing strong. "Beginners are many; finishers are few." Pick up the pace at the end and finish strong.

Core 4 - RESULTS (p. 109 - 124)

Have you guys ever heard of GE's stringent performance review process? Jack Welch was not messing around when it came to a 'rank and yank' style of talent management. You either make the grade or you get fired.

This chapter rounds out the 4 cores of credibility by emphasizing the necessity of RESULTS! Integrity, Intent, Capabilities...but RESULTS.

GE uses a framework of performance appraisal that considers four scenarios:

1) People who both deliver results AND live the values - these people are retained and promoted

2) People who neither deliver results NOR live the values - these people are let go

3) People who do not achieve, but who live the values - these people can be trained

4) People who achieve high results but do not live the values - these are the hardest of all to deal with! "They achieve the end that everybody wants, but they do it in a way that blatantly defies organizational values." According to "Neutron Jack" (Welch's nickname for his ability to eliminate employees while leaving buildings in tact), these employees too must go.

He says, "Clarity around values and behaviors is not much good unless it is backed up.  To make vlaues really mean something, companies have to reward the people who exhibit them and "punish" those who don't."

This is a bit of a surprising stance considering emphasis (necessity, demand!) of performance in today's competitive market environment. "To keep them on as they are is not only unsustainable, it is damaging to the organization and destroy credibility and trust." Can't we sweep some poor behaviors under the rug if the team member is bringing the critical results we need to prosper? Aren't we in business to prosper? What does it mean to prosper, anyway?

Since this (team members who violate values but produce results) is a prevalent and common organizational phenomenon, I'll lead this week's discussion with the simple question: Do you agree? Is performance (results) enough or is performance apart from (emotional intelligence) acceptable?

Another popular framework for evaluating performance is called the 9-box model of performance management:

What do you think about using this framework for performance (results) evaluation?