The 2nd WAVE - RELATIONSHIP TRUST (Behaviors) (pp. 125 - 143)

I believe it was Einstein that once said, "You can't think yourself out of a problem with the same thinking you used to think yourself into it." This Second Wave follows a similar idea: How to behave yourself out of problems you behaved yourself into!

Specifically, this Second Wave helps us learn to behave in ways with others that increase trust and avoid acting in ways that destroy trust through 13 specific trust-building behaviors.

Covey says that these behaviors are successful for four reasons:
1) They're not based on fads or practices, but time-tested principles.
2) They grow out of the four cores (credibility in character & competence)
3) They are actionable and can be implemented immediately.
4) They are universal (with anyone in your life in any sphere of influence in any culture)

Covey's audacious claim is that these behaviors have the power to create trust in all relationships you have both, personal & professional! He also says that we can behave ourselves out of a problem we have behaved ourselves into, and often faster than we think.

"People don't listen to you speak, they watch your feet," Covey says. Do you agree?

What you DO has far greater impact than anything you SAY. Why is that?

Consider emotional bank accounts. "By behaving in ways that destroy trust, you make withdrawals. By behaving in ways that build trust, you make deposits. The 'balance' reflects the amount of trust in the relationship at any given time.

* Each trust account is unique.
* All deposits and withdrawals are not created equal.
* What constitutes a deposit to one person may not to another.
* Withdrawals are typically larger than deposits.
* Sometimes the fastest way to build trust is to stop making withdrawals
* Each relationship has two trust accounts : your perception and other person's

Things to note about the behaviors section:

• All 13 behaviors require a combination of both character & competence. (The first 5 flow from character, the second 5 from competence and the last 3 from a combination.)
• Any of these behaviors can be taken to the extreme. (Plus Covey also denotes the opposite behavior for each).
• These behaviors work together to create balance (such as between "straight talk" and "demonstrate respect"
• There are tips on how to strengthen your 4 cores and suggestions on how to apply the behavior

Covey concludes this introduction to trust-building behaviors by reminding us that every encounter with another person is a "moment of trust." You can either build or tear down trust.